Anger and forgiveness seem to be opposites, and in many ways they are. You may be surprised to learn, however, that they have a lot in common. If you make anger the "bad guy," you just won't get to the forgiving part. Anger has to be fully understood and released before you get to move on to the freedom of forgiveness. Forgiveness has to be fully understood before you can let go of resentments and be emotionally whole and free.
It all starts with love. We are born with the need to love and be loved, and no one, even the best parents, can meet that need perfectly. Therefore we all feel hurt as a natural part of life. And of course, there are those hurts that are inflicted by abuse, abandonment and neglect, in some cases extreme.
>From this pain, fear and anger naturally emerge. It makes perfect sense to be angry when you're hurt. Anger is an important place to visit, you just don't want to live there. Here is where forgiveness comes in. Forgiveness is the process of letting go of anger and resentment so that you can go on with your life. Forgiveness is for you, not for the forgiven. That is essential to understand.
Anger and forgiveness seem opposite, in the sense that anger involves an intense focus on the "wrongdoer," and forgiveness involves shifting focus off of that person and moving on with your life. Yet there are some ways that anger and forgiveness are the same.
How Anger and Forgiveness Are The Same
Unhealthy anger and premature forgiveness both include:
-Judgment
-The "one-up" position
-Dishonoring to yourself
When you are angry at someone and blaming them, you are definitely judging them and putting yourself in a "one-up" position. The way you are dishonoring yourself here is that you are failing to look at your own creative responsibility in the situation. This is the hazard of the "blame game." When you are into blaming others for your feelings, situation or plight, you are making yourself a victim and denying your own power and responsibility.
Premature forgiveness is forgiving someone when you're not through being angry. You are still judging them, and therefore you're seeing yourself as "one-up." You are dishonoring yourself by pretending to forgive in your mind, when your heart and gut are still carrying anger and resentment.
Here are some important truths to remember when you're angry:
-The other person is responsible for his/her actions that triggered your anger. You are not responsible for their behavior.
-You are responsible for your emotional reaction and for your actions that result from your emotional reaction. They are not responsible for your emotional reactions or your behavior that results.
Here are some other ways that anger and forgiveness are the same. When anger is healthy, and forgiveness is authentic, both involve:
-Power
-Release
-Letting go
-No more victim position
-Operating in a container of love
Both healthy anger and true forgiveness involve the power of healthy release and letting go, which takes you out of the victim position. This can only occur in a container of love. Anger can only be healthy when accompanied by some degree of love and wisdom, and forgiveness can only be true when it is based on love for yourself and/or another person.
Understanding Anger
Anger is the most misunderstood emotion. Most people just think it is bad. Here are some common misconceptions:
-Anger is a bad emotion and should always be controlled
-It is possible to be without anger completely
-It is wrong to be angry
-To be angry means to be out of control
-Anger is the same thing as aggression
-When a person is angry that means they are not safe to be around
These misconceptions result from the lack of understanding of healthy anger. Healthy anger is:
-A feeling you have when you're threatened or opposed
-A protective emotion
-Powerful energy that can be used for positive outcomes
-Fuel for effective action
Have you ever taken action about something that made you angry? Think about MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. They got mad, and took action in healthy, appropriate ways to resolve the problem leading to their pain and anger. Here's the bottom line on healthy anger:
Healthy anger fuels effective action!
Understanding True Forgiveness
True forgiveness is something that only your body can do. Surprised by that? Here's the deal. Anger and resentments are held in the body as well as the mind, and your mind can decide to forgive long before your body is ready. Literally, your body has a mind of its own. Here are some things to understand about forgiveness:
-Forgiveness is not just a decision that you can make in your mind
-Forgiveness requires an emotional and physical release to be complete
-Your body is capable of holding onto anger long after your mind thinks it has forgiven
-Forgiveness does not absolve the wrongdoer-you don't have that kind of power
-Withholding forgiveness does not hold the wrongdoer accountable-everyone is accountable whether you forgive or not
-Forgiving doesn't mean you have decided that what the wrongdoer did is okay
-You don't have to wait for the wrongdoer to change for you to forgive
-You won't be able to forgive until you have fully examined the depth and extent of your wounds
-You won't be able to forgive until you have acknowledged the full depths of your anger
-Forgiveness is for you
-Forgiveness is good for your health
-Forgiveness allows you to be more loving and joyful
You will know that you have forgiven when your body is relaxed and your breathing is deep and easy-while you visualize the wrongdoer and say, "I accept you for who you are, with all of your best and worst. I no longer need you to change. I forgive you for myself, so that I can be free. I forgive you so that I can let go of resentments and feel love and joy in my heart, mind and body."
Your body will tell you if the forgiveness is complete.
Keys to Emotional Health and Freedom
-Take responsibility for your actions and emotions
-Do not accept blame for anything
-Place responsibility for others' actions and emotions on them
-Do not blame anybody for anything
Here are some thoughts to consider about love:
-Love can be intoxicating, and therefore can lead to unhealthy decisions
-The need to love and be loved is the most powerful force in human nature
-Love is who you are in your spiritual essence
-Conditional love is not really love-it is more about control
-The only real love is unconditional love
-You will always remember those people in your life who have loved you unconditionally
-You are at your very best when you are experiencing unconditional love
Life starts with love. Anger is an inevitable emotion, which can temporarily or permanently take us away from love. When we work through our anger, we can forgive. Forgiveness is a return to love.
The greatest of these is love.
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Feel Good Naked - Natural Beauty Secrets by Elaine Woosey
How confident are you when it comes to being naked? Sadly, a lot of women agonise about their bodies and revealing all can be a traumatic experience. If you are looking for tips, tricks and beauty secrets to help you make the most of your natural beauty and feel good naked, you've come to the right place.
Number one of all the beauty secrets is this, if you want to feel good naked you must be happy in your own skin.
To help you achieve this, look after your skin to bring out its natural beauty. Exfoliate regularly to remove dead skin cells and give your circulation a boost, this will encourage new skin cells at the same time. Encouraging new skin cells will give your skin a younger, fresher look.
Always moisturise using a good moisturiser and pay special attention to dry areas such as elbows, knees and feet. Take your time and massage the moisturiser right into your skin. Massaging not only helps your circulation it also helps to smooth out bumps and wrinkles and will enhance your natural beauty. Olive oil, an old-fashioned beauty secret, will give your skin a luxurious look as well as making it soft and supple to touch. As the surface of your skin improves and you get to know your body better you will begin to feel good naked.
Remove unsightly hairs from your legs, under your arms and tidy up your bikini line, or go the whole hog and go for a Brazilian wax.
You probably already know that eating a balanced diet to maintain healthy skin from the inside will benefit your natural beauty. Oily fish and vegetables will do wonders for your nails, hair and teeth as well as providing fish oils and vitamins for your skin and is a beauty secret worth knowing.
Your hair is your crowning glory especially if you want to feel good naked, have it trimmed regularly and keep it clean, well conditioned and healthy.
A quick fix beauty secret to feel good naked is to decide which your best asset is and show it off to the best advantage. Stand naked in front of a tall mirror and take a good, long look at yourself.
Standing straight on is not always the best pose, experiment by turning slowly and watching how your contours change. Standing side on can be a lot more flattering and compliment your natural beauty. Stand up straight and lift your sternum (breastbone) arch your back slightly so that your bottom sticks out a little bit but not too much.
You can make yourself look slimmer by stretching your body into a bow shape and being careful not to stoop or scrunch yourself up. Or stand slightly side on to the mirror placing one leg in front of the other; this will give you a very sexy shapely outline indeed.
Or try lying on your stomach propped up by your elbows, this accentuates the curve of your back and the shape of your breasts and at the same time minimises your stomach.
The idea behind the above beauty secrets is to create an illusion, flatter your natural beauty and help you to feel good naked.
A good tip is to spend as much time as you can actually being naked, this will get you used to seeing yourself naked and the more you see yourself naked, the more being naked will feel natural to you.
Remember to stand up straight and stretch your body to make yourself look slimmer. It also helps if you master the art of walking by placing one foot in front of the other, as though you are walking a tight rope, and swing your legs from the hips. I've found this looks extremely elegant and it will do wonders for your confidence.
Another good beauty secret is to go for soft lighting, such as candles, tea lights or softly coloured light bulbs if you haven't got a dimmer switch, and make sure the lighting is behind you. This not only has a slimming effect - it will also help to soften your outline and give you a sexy glow.
A soft glow rather than harsh lighting will give your skin an even tone and minimise the appearance of any blemishes.
One of the best beauty secrets I know is taking regular exercise to help keep your body toned and supple, a thirty-minute walk three times a week will pay many benefits. Walk at a speed that gets your heart rate up, this will oxygenate your blood and improve your skin, as well as your muscles and heart. Don't walk so fast that you can't have a conversation at the same time.
A toned and balanced body is extremely beautiful and will make you look and feel good naked, and you don’t need an hourglass figure to achieve this. Add quality to your movements with muscles that are long and toned and you will appear more balanced and beautiful.
Finally, the best way to feel good naked is to have confidence in yourself. If you don't feel it, fake it until you do. Get to know your own body and accept yourself for who you are and how you look.
We are all individuals and there are no set rules for everyone. Watch other women and notice how they move, what looks good and what doesn't. You can learn a lot by watching others.
Someone who is happy in her own skin and behaves in a confident manner is extremely attractive and sexy, regardless of her body shape.
How you feel about yourself is what really counts because this will show in your eyes and natural beauty will radiate from you.
Relax and enjoy yourself - love the way you look - if you do then others will too.
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Cycling Your Way To Fitness - free article courtesy of ArticleCity.com
Stationary Bikes - Still A Top Choice For Overall Fitness
In all the craze over new fangled fitness equipment, the exercise bike often gets overlooked. Stationary bikes have been around for many years, which can lead some people to think they are outdated or not as effective as newer types of equipment. But for many people, exercise bikes provide a fun, consistent, reasonable means of exercising, improving cardio functions, and losing weight.
Stationary exercise bikes provide all the benefits of riding a bicycle. They provide good cardio workouts, have much less impact on knees, hips and other joints than walking or running, and can be used at any time it’s convenient. Most stationary bikes have manual or computerized controls to allow you to adjust resistance and speed. Many also come with heart monitors and cardio workouts already programmed in. There is a huge selection of price and style, and stationary bikes tend to be the most affordable cardio exercise machine.
Plus, with a stationary bike, you don’t have to worry about traffic, dogs, or bad weather. You can exercise in the convenience of your own home and even watch television or read a book while you bike. Try doing that on the bike path at the park!
Types of Stationary Bikes
Standard, upright stationary bikes come in single or dual action models. Dual action bikes have handles or levers to work the upper body and have been shown to provide more effective cardio workouts, burn more calories, and also improve overall body tone more efficiently than single action bikes. Dual action bikes work well for those with hip or leg injuries who need to exercise but also need to go easy on their legs. The dual action allows the arms to work harder to operate the machine, thus requiring less work from the legs.
A recumbent bicycle, sometimes called a “bent,” is a type of stationary bike that is more laid back…literally. It places the body in a semi or fully reclining position, taking pressure off the back area. Some people feel the position is difficult to adapt to at first, but many who choose recumbent bikes say they are very easy and comfortable to ride. They usually come with a larger seat, which often means you will stay on the machine longer or not have discomfort later.
Because of the reclining position, a recumbent bike works the abdominal muscles more and also creates more hamstring action. The lower center of gravity makes for better balance as well. Doctors feel they are better for those with back problems or with cerebral palsy and related diseases. The recumbent bikes also bring your feet more closely in line with your heart, keeping blood pressure low and providing for a safer overall workout.
Popular Models & Prices
Most stationary bikes come with ways to assess your speed and distance. Economy models have a tachometer/odometer combination and a design that utilizes a flywheel to provide resistance. These models are not programmable and provide the least effective workout, but are at under $200 can be an inexpensive way for a beginner or someone on a tight budget to get some exercise. They can be purchased at many department stores.
Standard models usually come with more features such as a programmable consul that calculates heart rate or allows you to pick a heart rate and then adjust the resistance accordingly. These bikes may use flywheels, fan blades, or magnetic resistance, depending on the quality. Magnetic resistance is usually the best method as it operates more smoothly and is quieter. These models can range from $200 up to $1500 and provide the broadest range of selection for the average person. Some popular models include Tunturi F520 (recumbent), Vision Fitness R2000, and several models from Schwinn, the popular bike manufacturer.
More expensive stationary bikes often use magnetic resistance and typically need to be plugged in to an outlet. They come with all the bells and whistles, including extended warranties, more varied programming features, and comfort options such as built in fans. They typically cost over $1500. Lifecycle 5500HR and 5500RHR (recumbent) are popular choices among those who are serious about their workout or have a healthy budget.
Other popular manufacturers of exercise bikes include Nordic Track, Reebok, Weslo, Keys, Fitness Quest, and Edge.
Compared To Other Equipment
All types of stationary bikes provide a low impact workout that many feel is an advantage over treadmill exercise. The force on the knees, ankles, feet and other body parts that occurs with walking or running can cause swelling or discomfort in the joints. It can irritate old injuries or sometimes even produce new problems. A stationary bike provides non-weight bearing exercise that reduces impact on these areas.
In the health and fitness industries, and among customers, there is an extensive debate over which machines burn more calories and give a better cardio workout. There is evidence on both sides of the issue, but many people agree that a stationary bike should have dual action to optimize weight loss and heart health. The pumping of the arms has a significant impact of the effectiveness of any workout, and a treadmill is less effective as well if you hold onto the hand supports rather than letting your arms swing or pumping them in rhythm to your motion.
Elliptical trainers are another exercise option that provides a low impact workout, but many feel they do not provide the same cardio benefits. Rowing machines are boring, more difficult to use, and can be hard on the back. Other equipment has disadvantages as well, making stationary bikes a good choice for overall effectiveness and satisfaction. Consumer buying shows that exercise bikes continue to rank as a top choice for exercise and fitness training.
In the ever expanding world of health and fitness equipment, there have been some true advances as well as a bunch of gimmicks. A stationary bike is an old standard that has been a proven exercise tool for years, and that continues to improve and adapt through new technology. The overall effectiveness, ease of use and variety of designs and prices makes a stationary exercise bike an excellent choice for beginners and advanced enthusiasts alike.
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Dieting for Weight Loss by Lance Miller - ArticleCity.com - Free ...
The most common reason that people cite for dieting today is weight loss. While most of us would love to claim the noble mantle of dieting for health the vast majority of us are doing so for vanity. This, however , is a perfectly acceptable and plausible reason for making the lifestyle changes that are necessary in order to diet. In fact , this reason might prove to be a far greater motivator than many of the other commonly stated reasons for dieting.
When dieting for weight loss one of the most common complaints is constantly feeling hungry. In order to help combat this, you might want to incorporate some of the following strategies into your dieting program. First of all, eat more high fiber foods. Whole grains, apples, pears, and lima beans are a great source of fiber as are many breakfast cereals. Easy does it however when it comes to fiber as it may be filling but there are some unpleasant side effects that may accompany heavy fiber eating (remember that beans are a good source of fiber). Try using a product such as Bean-o when consuming larger amounts of fiber. You might also try spreading your fiber intake throughout the day rather than consuming all your daily fiber at once.
Another method for feeling fuller when dieting is to drink plenty of water while dieting. Water provides an important service to the body and is very necessary when it comes to delivering all the nutrients where they need to go. Water also helps regulate your metabolism, which is very important to the dieting and weight loss process. Additionally , water will help you skin retain its elasticity so that your skin can go more easily back into place once the serious weight loss begins.
Learn to control your portions. We live in a world where portions are over inflated and super sized so often that we no longer know what an appropriate portion looks like. Restaurant meals are quite often more than adequate for at least two full meals and that is before salads, soups, appetizers, or desserts have been ordered. Learning to portion correctly can save you from over loading your calorie intake for the day massively. It can also help you get extra helpings of the lower calorie foods such as lettuce and other vegetables rather than taking such large portions of calorie rich starches or fried foods.
Do not go "Gung Ho". There are limits to what the body and the mind can handle. When you go on a diet you are making a drastic change to your bodies caloric intake. If you go overboard you can lead to health risks along the way. Begin cutting calories a little at a time and incorporate changes as you go rather than going in with an all or nothing attitude. If you go overboard with your dieting plans chances are that you are dooming your diet to failure.
Take your diet one step at a time for the best results and be sure to incorporate extra physical activity into the mix. Even gardening when done on a regular basis can burn calories, so can cleaning the house, and playing with the little ones. Take a walk to the park or the corner store rather than getting in the car and pull a wagon or push a stroller while you're at it. The added weight will be just enough resistance to burn a few extra calories.
Dieting for weight loss does not necessarily have to be a major sacrifice on your part but in order to be successful it will be a radical change in lifestyle, particularly if you need to lose more than a few vanity pounds. The health implications of loosing the weight are well worth the required effort and should not be taken lightly no matter how excited you are about your new body that is hiding inside your old one.
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My High Blood Pressure - free article courtesy of ArticleCity.com
I have probably had high blood pressure for a long time. This is the story of how I found out.
In hindsight, I can identify many symptoms of high blood pressure, but I either ignored them or thought they were related to other things.
The major symptom I had was headaches. Most days I would either wake up with a headache or develop one. Some of them were real "head splitters"... occasionally I would have to lie down to stop the nausea. I remember often working in front of my computer and trying very hard not to move my head to avoid feeling sharp pains.
Since being diagnosed with high blood pressure and starting medication , I have not had one headache (around nine months now). My headaches were definitely due to my high blood pressure, but back then I thought they were due to stress, or poor posture due to sitting at a computer all day... or any number of things.
THE DIAGNOSIS
I had been told for years by doctors that my blood pressure was high, but that it was probably due to the "white coat"effect. Turns out it wasn't. I went to a new doctor, and as she took my blood pressure, she had a very worried look on her face.
My systolic blood pressure reading was over 200.
She told me to go to hospital immediately and made me promise I would not ignore her warning. At the time I did think she was over-reacting, and I pictured myself sitting in the hospital emergency waiting room for a couple of hours, waiting for a doctor to see me, giving me a couple of pills to take, and heading home.
The actual story was very different.
I arrived at emergency and was given the standard "patient detail" form to fill out. Before I was 1/3 of the way through, a nurse turned up to take my blood pressure. She also got a worried look on her face, and took me straight to one of the emergency beds. This is in a hospital system famous for making people wait hours in emergency.
I had doctors all over me... injecting things, taking blood, scanning me and god knows what else.
My clearest memory of that day was suddenly feeling very light headed.
The doctor later told me that I "liked" a drug (I think it was hydralazine) he injected into me. I say "liked" because only a doctor could think I "liked" it. In about 30 seconds I went from feeling what I then considered normal, to being drenched in sweat, head spinning and throwing up my lunch. The nurses told me later that I was as white as a ghost.
I remember asking one of the emergency nurses if she thought I would be able to go home that night. She laughed.
I ended up spending 4 days in intensive care, and 6 days in the general hospital before they let me go home.
The quality of the care, the doctors and the nurses were all amazing. We have a free hospital system in Australia which sometimes gets a bad rap, but my experience was very positive.
MEDICATION
They never found a cause... I just have high blood pressure. I take a fair bit of medication , and my blood pressure is now at normal levels.
My doctor told me to buy a blood pressure monitor and record my readings each day. Because I kept forgetting to take my readings, I wrote a software program to remind me. The software also charts the readings from my home monitor, and it is clear that my readings have been dropping over the last six months.
My readings are now around 110-120 over 70-80. Much better, but more importantly, I feel a lot better... I had no idea that high blood pressure could make you feel so unwell.
If you also have high blood pressure I wish you well! If you have not seen a doctor about it, I highly recommend it... don't leave it as late as I did, they can help you to feel a lot better!
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Thursday, 27 September 2012
How to Increase Your Bedroom Stamina in Just a Few Days! - free ...
Until recently, guys with premature ejaculation problems had to wait at least a few weeks to see results from natural solutions. However, new research has finally revealed why some guys last and others simply can’t. Based on the training principles of body building, it is now possible to teach your body how to have sex correctly through a serious of specially designed exercises.
So what is premature ejaculation, and how long is really enough?
Well premature ejaculation, or PE, is commonly defined as the inability to delay ejaculation to a point where both partners are satisfied; and this can be anywhere from 10 seconds to 10 minutes. It all depends on what you and your partner define as "too fast". Research shows that the average man will ejaculate within 1-3 minutes of penetration, while the average woman will orgasm after 12-15 minutes! With such a large gap it is no surprise that more than 30% of guys suffer from the anxiety of premature ejaculation!
So how do you stop it I hear you ask?
Fortunately, the ability to last a long time is a learned behaviour. Almost every man over fifty will tell you that he can delay ejaculation much longer today than when he was younger. Sexually inexperienced men have not yet learned to recognize the feeling of being about to come inside a woman. Recognizing and dealing with that feeling comes with experience. However, don’t be fooled into thinking that just having more sex will cure this kind of inexperience – it won’t! It’s not the amount of sex you’ve had – it’s the amount of learning and training. Learning to control the penis and taking charge of your own ejaculation are the keys to success.
Using traditional methods such as the "Squeeze Method", the "Masters and Johnson Method" and the "Stop Start Method" usually takes a few weeks to see results. These methods are designed for you and your partner to simply get used to sex and that is often the biggest part of early ejaculation problems anyway. Fixing Premature Ejaculation with the help of your partner only makes it even more embarrassing and awkward for you and it’s no wonder these techniques take so long to see results!
Doctors will sometimes prescribe medications that have ejaculatory retardation as a side effect. Even if those medications work (they don’t always), this doesn’t cure anything. You can’t stay on the drugs for a lifetime, and in relying on the external aid, you’ll never learn to control your orgasm for yourself. Also, most of these sprays and drugs simply numb the penis so you don’t feel the excitement. What’s the point of sex if you can’t enjoy it?
If we change our approach to having longer sex by focusing on the actual love making muscles rather than just waiting to get used to coming slower, then results can be seen inside a week. In the sporting world, different training methods are used to build the two types of muscle fibres know as “fast twitch” and “slow twitch”. Generally weight lifters have denser slow twitch fibres for more power, and sprinters have denser fast twitch fibres for speed. If we apply their training methods to the muscles of sex, then we are able to develop total control much faster.
Gaining control during sex is as simple as taking control over your breathing, and control over the PC muscle. The PC muscle is located between the scrotum and the anus, and contracts both quickly and slowly during sex. By training it correctly, premature ejaculation can be controlled far quicker than by simply waiting for it to happen with traditional methods.
Also, anxiety is also a major contributor to fast ejaculation, and as a result your body tenses up and can’t perform correctly. By learning correct breathing techniques you can relax your body, and coupled with the confidence of controlling your PC muscle, you can be well on your way to stopping this embarrassing problem for ever!
Outlining a full program to cure PE would take more than this article allows, however a basic program involves holding your PC for 10 seconds, then relaxing for a few seconds and repeating this cycle for 10 repetitions. You can also do short fast holds, for 20 reps each time. This will let you to begin to gain control over your PC muscle, and over time your PC worries will become a thing of the past!
Believe me, everyone is capable of lasting as long as they want to, and it has nothing to do with you thinking that you are in some way different to all the other "normal" guys. You simply need to build new habits for sex and to understand how to control the correct muscles to last as long as you should be!
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