In January 2006, I will be married to my husband for 29 years. I knew him for 2 years before that.
Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till … well you know the rest. But for many people, the pressures, challenges, and monotony of married life has shrouded its wonderful positive aspects.
Great marriages don’t just happen. You have to do something to make it last. Improve your marriage now. Remember that improvement is not a one-time event. It’s a process, so better start now.
Being happy starts within you. If you can’t be happy with yourself, then there’s no chance that you’ll be happy with someone else.
Be the best that you can be to your spouse.
The Qualities of a Successful Marriage
Love
Love is the most essential component in a relationship. It is the powerful force that binds two unique individuals together. A relationship will not start without love.
Support
Being a supportive spouse can be both a rewarding and a difficult role in a relationship. The most important aspect is being a loving presence always in your spouse’s life. Being supportive means strengthening the partner. You bear the weight. It is quite a responsibility for any one to take on. The sense of responsibility grows deeper when your spouse faces certain problems. To avoid conflict, respect your spouse’s personal decisions. Show that you have faith in your mate. Be the shoulder to lean on. Work together to maintain balance in your life together. Don’t be threatened by your spouse’s accomplishments. Be proud of your spouse’s achievements. If you want to help your spouse to recover from a difficult situation, don’t try to solve it on your own.
Tolerance
The meanings of tolerance in the dictionary are:
1. The power or capacity of an organism to tolerate unfavorable environmental conditions.
2. A disposition to allow freedom of choice and behavior.
3. The act of tolerating something.
4. Willingness to recognize and respect the beliefs or practices of others.
5. A permissible difference; allowing freedom to move within limits.
The given meaning has only one denominator. Patience. Without it, the word tolerance is nothing.
Always remember that it pays to be patient. As the saying goes, patience is a virtue.
Communication
All arguments can be solved through proper communication. If your partner annoys you for things he or she has done consciously or unconsciously, approach your spouse. Talk to each other. Explain that you are offended by that act. Remember that he or she can’t read minds. Don’t try to keep it inside. It will corrupt you. The annoyance will grow in your heart. Don’t wait for it to burst one day. As early as possible discuss the problem with your spouse. If a certain thing bothers you, tell it straight to your spouse. It doesn’t hurt to be straightforward. It is just a choice of words on how you will express yourself.
Realistic Expectations
Don’t expect too much from your spouse. They are also humans bound to commit mistakes.
Caring
Show your spouse that you’re concerned. During lunch, ask him or her if he or she has already eaten. Small simple things can mean a lot to them. Take time to notice your spouse. Say I love you everyday.
Nurturing
Grow with each other. Nurture intimacy. Live together and raise your children.
Sense of Humor
Laugh together. Have fun together. It is healthy to stretch out those lazy lips. Don’t be too serious. Pressures of life? Don’t let it weigh you down. Uplift your spirits high. Don’t take things too seriously. Stop trying to be perfect because no person is. Always put on a happy face! Smile immensely. It can really change the way you and other people feel. Happiness is a choice, so don’t choose to frown. A wrinkle on the face is ugly.
Smiling is considered as one of the fountains of youth. Smile wide. Make the world a brighter place to live in. Don’t forget to laugh and joke around. Be kind and smile at everyone, especially your spouse. If tensions start to grow, smile at him or her.
Laugh out loud. It’s the best medicine in town. Heal your body, mind and soul. Fill your life with laughter so that you won’t have much room left for negative emotions.
Commitment
A happy couple in a happy marriage develops bonding rituals. These become the pillars that hold up the marriage. Show your dedication every day.
Respect
Appreciate each other’s eccentricities and differences, especially as woman and man. Learn to be happily different. Learn to give and take. Practice kindness and politeness with each other in at least 95 percent of your interactions.
Know how to handle conflict
Don’t make things worse by not talking to each other. Look into your spouse’s eye when asking him or her. Don’t delay the conversation for quite a long time. This will only make the conflict worse.
Solve problems together
Resolve arguments rather than letting things fester. Speak up. It will not aggravate the situation.
Interdependence
Learn to reciprocate.
Enjoy one another
Focus on enjoying life. Live a carefree life. Think that your spouse is the one that really matters in this world. Do things together. Excite your relationship by finding new ways to enjoy each other.
Have fun together
Play in the rain together. Isn’t it great to be a child once in a while? Run like a madman while you chase each other in the rain.
If you would like to learn more, you can visit http://www.self-help-motivation-source.com/marriagesecrets.html
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Sustaining Romance After Becoming Parents - free article courtesy ...
A major challenge for parents, especially new parents, is finding the time to be together in ways that foster romance in their relationship. A question that a reader recently asked me is: “Is it the quality of time versus the quantity of time that is significant in 'we-time'? If yes, how? ”
Romance is determined far more by the quality of the energy between two people than by the amount of time they spend together. If two people spend all day together, but they are not open to each other regarding the sharing of learning, laughter, play and creativity, they will not feel romantic and intimate. They will feel far more romantic if they spend a few minutes together and that few minutes is filled with the intimacy that comes from being open hearted and emotionally connected with each other. If two people hug goodbye in the morning and the hug is perfunctory with their minds already elsewhere, that hug will do nothing to foster romance later that evening. But if the hug is filled with love, warmth, tenderness and caring, that hug can do much to sustain the romance through the day to be further expressed in the evening.
The question is, what determines the quality of energy between two people? What makes one hug filled with romantic potential and another hug empty and meaningless?
The quality of the energy between two people is determined by their intent:
* If your intent is to have control over getting love or avoiding pain, the hug will be empty and depleting, regardless of your partner’s intent.
* If your intent and your partner’s intent is to give love and share love, the hug will be fulfilling and energizing.
There is a vast difference between the intention to get love and avoid pain, and the intention to give and share love.
When your intention is to get love, you are coming from an empty place within and wanting your partner to fill that place for you. You will be giving the hug in order to get filled – giving to get. Your touch will energetically be a pull on your partner’s energy to fill you up and make you feel lovable and worthy. Since it doesn’t feel good to be pulled on energetically, your partner may hug you from a withdrawn state, with the intention to avoid the pain of being pulled on. If one of you hugs with the intent to get love, and the other hugs with the intent to avoid pain, the hug will not feel good.
If both of you are coming from an empty place within and both of you are hugging with the intention to get love, there will be no love to share and the hug will not feel good.
If one of you hugs with the intention to give and share love and the other hugs with the intent to get love, the giver will end up feeling unfilled. He or she may enjoy giving love, but there will be no sharing of love, and it is the share of love that is truly the highest experience in life.
If both of you are already filled with love within due to taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and wellbeing, and to being spiritually connected to the Source of love, then your intent is likely to be to give and share love. When you both have the intent to give and share love, the hug will be a wonderful expression of your love and will be very fulfilling. Starting your day with a few minutes of sharing love sets the stage for sharing love at other times. Even if your time together is very limited, romance can be sustained when two people have the intent to give and share love.
Moving out of the intent to get love and avoid pain and into the intent to give and share love is a personal process of inner growth. It takes both people desiring to learn how to fill themselves with love so that they have love to share to create and sustain a fulfilling romantic relationship. As parents with limited time to spend with each other, doing this inner work is essential for the relationship with thrive.
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Thursday, 4 October 2012
Hair Loss, Regrowth and Propecia by Mark Brassia
Four years ago I would go out to a night club and wear one of my favorite shirts and nicely pressed slacks and I would be told that I looked forty years old. It was very hard to take as I had just turned 36. I would go on to hear this kind of talk a lot around this time.
I moved to a new area and when I would go out, I would always get funny looks and reactions. I've always been an independent person so I didn't mind going out to a local establishment alone but I was always friendly and had some kind of magnetism that seemed to always attract people.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm just an average looking guy. I am tall and have always stayed in good shape and have always had a friendly and good sense of humor. Because I'm a bigger guy, people seem to make friends with me as I may make them feel comfortable. This is how it had always been since I was twenty years old. However , it wasn't happening anymore. Inside I was still the same sarcastic, humorous and friendly person but on the outside I must have appeared to look like a loner or a psycho-serial killer.
I have never went out of my way to make new friends. However , occasionally when you would just come across people I was getting negative reactions. I knew that there was nothing at all different about me except for one thing. I was still big and had a good body, I was still tan, I still had nice, clean white teeth. I still wore brand new expensive shirts. The only thing that had changed was my hair. It was thinning and looked miniaturized and it was very apparent.
I knew that this was my only draw back but I really didn't know what to do about it. I always made a good living and the thought of hair transplants was totally out of the question. I thought about just shaving it as it seemed "that look" was becoming more common. But I could just never come to do it as I always had this thought in my mind that there was a solution.
I bought a bottle of Propecia and for some reason I kept it in my medicine cabinet for about 6 months. I think that I was scared to take it. Everything that I had read seemed to imply that there were too many side effects. At the time, I hadn't began to do any real research.
So I just hung in there and decided to start scouring the internet and do as much research as possible. I went to the discussion forums and I started to listen to a radio talk show about hair loss. The more that I researched, I started to realize that I must take the Propecia right away or my hair is going to start looking worse.
Even though I was still a little nervous I finally made a decision and I just went for it. I went to a Dermatologist and requested a prescription and he agreed that my hair was miniaturized and he felt that I would be a perfect candidate for Propecia. I had read in these forums that others were experimenting with this "big three" regimen and when I decided to get the prescription for the propecia, I would also start on the other two products as well. My plan was to give myself one full year of taking the three products and I would pray that the routine would work. After ninety days I was starting to see progress. As each month went by I would tell myself that I'm at 15% and now I'm at 20% and so on. Now that I look back, I see that I was being way too conservative. When I thought that I was at 50% of the way there and on the road to recovery, I was probably really only at 20%. I still had another 80% of improvement to go. As some people would say, I hadn't even "scratched the surface"
After almost three years of this regimen I must say that I am very happy and that my results are definitely better then expected. I was a guy who had obvious hair loss to anybody that knew me or not. Now I'm a guy that still has a little frontal recession and still a little thinning in the crown and for the most part has a significant amount of hair.
I went out to a local establishment recently and a 27 year old guy talked to me for about an hour and he told me that he was 27 and that I'm "what 32, 33? " I said try 39. He said "really, wow you actually look about 32 and you seem like a 32 year old" Of course the first thing that comes to your mind is that he was just trying to be nice and just complementing me. But I really believe that he was sincere as I have been getting a lot of this kind of treatment for the past year.
I can go out now and I have that magnetism again where people want to know me or talk to me instead of looking at me like I'm some crazy man. I still wear the nice shirts, I still work out and my body still looks as good as it did when I was 36, my teeth are still nice and white and I still look tan. The only thing that is different is my hair. It doesn't look thin and miniaturized anymore. It looks like a normal full head of hair.
I truly believe that the way your hair looks tells a lot about a person's age. The hair is the frame for your face and I must say I know that my hair looks 10 times better today then it did back when I was 36. You would think that since I have androgenic alopecia that my hair would look thinner and worse each year.
Actually the reverse has happened for me and time is actually on my side instead of against me because I have reversed the progression of my hair loss. Instead of having a higher level of DHT in my scalp miniaturizing my existing hair follicles, I take finasteride, better known as Propecia. Finasteride has been proven to block Type II 5 alpha reductace, the enzhyme that converts testosterone to DHT.
Although Propecia is the main player of The Big Three, there are still two other products that I feel must be taken. The three products taken together seem to work in a synergistic manner. Propecia does its thing, minoxidil has its role and nizoral also plays a key part. However , one plus one plus one equals four as far as the overall effect of the treatments. Nizoral makes Minoxidil more effective and Mixoxidil works better when taking propecia.
I have been taking the Big Three now for almost three years and I must say the regimen has really changed my life.
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